School, the transition from childhood to primary
Do you want your child to start primary school peacefully? Do you not want him to feel bad or anxious, or are you simply worried about how he will face the transition from kindergarten to elementary school? Here are some very good tips to reassure him.
- The family must be united. Behave like “The Robinsons”, the family of the very successful American sit-com also in Italy. This family, united and loving, behaves like a team and each supports the other. Supporting this is Melissa Sturge-Apple, a psychologist at the University of Rochester in the USA, who analyzed just under 250 families to see if and how many family relationships affect schooling. The Robinson model is a winner because it puts the child’s feelings first and parents always reassure and listen to their children. Dad and mom intervene if the child asks for help, but they don’t intrude and respect his emotional intimacy.
- Show yourself calm. In the first days of school, it is good to show tranquility. Seeing parents relaxed and confident helps children cope with school more safely.
- Teachers play a fundamental role. Teachers must fully inform the students about the novelties of the elementary school, about what is expected of them, but also about spaces and times dedicated to playing and recreation, which for them represent a reassuring continuity with the past.
- Parents must be involved. Parents must be involved in this phase, setting a good example and helping the child to take responsibility and respect timetables and rules. Children know very well how to take on rules and commitments, as long as they are clearly informed!
School, the transition to the lower secondary level: how to help children deal with it
If you want to help your child in the delicate transition to middle school, here are seven excellent tips from two experts: Elena Urso, pedagogist and author of the site www.consulenzafamiliare.com, author of books for parents (with E. Rossini, Children must do it yourself, without ever feeling alone … Edicart) and Barbara Tamborini, educational psychologist and essayist.
- Observe and listen to the child. It is very important that the parent never minimizes or ridicules any fears of the child and reassures him by helping him give voice to his emotions.
- Give it autonomy. To reassure the child a good strategy is to leave him new spaces of autonomy during the summer. Thus the child can enter the perspective that he is experiencing an important moment of growth and put himself to the test.
- Pay attention to his emotions and be involved. It is important to look carefully at the thermometer of any anxieties of the child and act according to that. Furthermore, when the child continues to bring up the “medium” argument, the parent can tell how his experience was since he went through the same moment.
- Visit the new school and imagine the first day. If the child is anxious, it is advisable to go to the new school in the summer months daydreaming about what will be the first day.
School anxiety, tips to win it
Many children and adolescents in view of exams or homework are very loaded with anxiety and go to the ball, giving poor results. Here are some tips to overcome school anxiety.
- Do not always ask your child “How did she go to school?” If the parent asks this question every day, the message that comes is that the parent only cares about academic performance. Let’s try instead to ask him how he was at school, or to tell him how our day went or to ask him about any other topic. In short, we shift our attention from his performance to his person.
- Let him do his homework on his own. The process of autonomy is built by trusting the child to be able to do it alone. If it is smaller, it is helped to organize the study, any doubts are clarified (if asked), final supervision is done, but one does not sit down to do homework with him.
- Don’t always tell him he’s wrong. If at school a problem was wrong or at home, a drawing hurts, I don’t totally reject his work, but let’s try to understand rather how he reasoned, in what he jammed. In other words, let’s be interested in the procedure rather than the performance.
- If the question went wrong, don’t be worried. If he returns home with a bad grade, we must not show concern or make us anxious first. Let us remember that we parents are the “pilots of the plane” and if there is turbulence the pilot cannot be seen by the passenger more frightened than him, but have the reassuring attitude of someone who is certain that he will arrive safely at the destination .